Rekha lashes out

The controversies relating to producer Bipin Vohra and director Gautam Ghosh's recently released Yatra simply don't seem to die down. After their spat, the latest to join the sulking brigade is Rekha, the lead actress of the film.

She is apparently very upset with the way Ghosh handled her dance sequences in the film. Rekha says she doesn't expect anything from Yatra. According to her, two antras from her song sequences have been deleted. "I put in my best in the Jaam Ye Mohabbat number. It's ridiculous that the director ruthlessly edited it," says Rekha adding, "I had no problems with anyone else, especially the producer."

Rekha is also unhappy with the way Shaswati Sen choreographed the mujra sequence. "Shaswati may be a good dancer but not a good choreographer," she says. And that's why she insisted that she be choreographed by Saroj Khan for that mujra.

Rekha plays courtesan Lajwanti in Yatra, a character in Nana Patekar's novel, who plays an author in the film. The actress says , "My role was reduced to playing second fiddle to Nana Patekar."

Rekha stays away from controversies

Rekha, one of the most reclusive Bollywood actresses, is in no mood to talk about the various controversies surrounding her film Yatra, releasing today, that she says have been created as people want her to retaliate.

"Why this film? I never speak about my films. By talking about an issue, we tend to trivialise it," Rekha said in an interview.

"However, I've my own take on the publicity of a film. Every time a film comes along, the people behind it talk about how different it is from the run-of-the-mill," she added.

She terms it as "hamburger culture" from the West.

"But I don't believe movies are a product. You aren't selling emotions; you're sharing emotions. Our Indian way of looking at emotions is different. I don't think I need to stand on a podium and say what kind of performance I've given in Yatra or any other film."

The film, which also has Nana Patekar and Deepti Naval in main leads, is about a writer's journey and has been selected for the Montreal Film Festival. But it made more news for alleged differences between director Gautam Ghosh and Rekha. Apparently, the film's crew was upset with the diva's constant interference.

"I won't waste a single moment justifying my behaviour or defending myself. Other people can say and do what they like. All I can say is, empty vessels make the most noise. And I'm anything but empty.

"But I won't let people fire their guns from my shoulder. Yatra definitely isn't one of those films where everyone needs to scream at the top of one's voice to make an impact. Every film I do is mine," she said.

"These controversies are being created for me to retaliate. I won't fall into the trap. Since Nana Patekar won't talk, I won't talk, news has to be created somehow. I truly believe a film should speak for itself. I won't talk," she added.

Rekha says she has a small role in Yatra. "I hope I was not an uninvited guest," she said. "I always believe every film and every unit I work in is my baby and my family. I've no complaints."

So is Rekha trying to enhance her mystical image by refraining from coming out for publicity?

"Do you really think one can create an enigmatic aura by staying away from the limelight. What about Nargis Dutt? She was visible everywhere from cinema to politics. And yet what mystique she conveyed! To this day she's an enigma to everyone, including her own husband and children.

"Sanju (Sanjay Dutt) remembers her only for the love that she showered on him and that he gave back to her unconditionally. Beyond that he knows nothing about her. I am certainly not out to create an image by not talking about my film."

What if people perceive her to be eccentric?

"What's wrong with that? If a few eccentric people find me eccentric I don't mind," shrugs Rekha.

Rekha at 51 still looking for Mr Right

Bollywood diva Rekha even at 51 says she still hopes to meet her ideal man. "May be I'm being unreal and impractical, but I'm not in denial. If I find someone who's willing to share me with my fans, I might change my mind," Rekha says.

"If I had a man, I'd just be devoting all my attention to that one person. I'll take out his clothes, personally monitor his menu, prepare the lunch and personally deliver it to him."

But Rekha, the star of the original Umrao Jaan, doesn't crave for children.

On her glam appearance, she says, "I don't have to spend hours planning and executing my clothes and makeup. I've done it for 40-odd years. I can't bring myself to spend more than 15 minutes on makeup and clothes."

The diva who ruled a many hearts, has remained a loner and still maintains her single status. However Her high-profile relationship with Bachchan always remained a gossip issue.

"Loner is just a word. It means I spend most my time on my own. Going by my nature, it's the most comfortable situation to be in. My god! Think of all the time I get to reason out things, not analyse situations, that's such a waste of time. But you've to analyse things. And I never consciously created that time. It was bestowed on me," says Rekha.

I never thought I'd be home alone, with all my sisters married and gone. I never thought I'd not have my own family, my own children.

So does she regret not having any children? "Not any more. I do not miss children. Even if I find the ultimate man to have babies with, it'd be very unfair to my priorities. Because if I have a baby, I won't be able to focus on anything else. Then what happens to the babies all over the world with whom I'm connected?"

Well, if you have the power to be Rekha then you better be prepared to reach out to anyone who wants to reach out to you.

When asked if aging, illness and the fear of loss of beauty - bothers her she says, "If I let these thoughts affect me, I wouldn't be able to be creative. I'm petrified of falling ill and going to the hospital. However, disasters are a part and parcel of life. I cannot avoid them. But when a catastrophe happens, I'd like to see it as a signal to go into another phase of my life. So, in a silly masochistic way, I welcome pain because it will help me grow."

While the yesteryears top-notch actress always looked picture perfect, a strange fact about Rekha has been that she never let any make up man do her make up for she always relied upon herself in deciding what goes best for her looks.

"That's true. Not even Mickey Contractor, whom I adore, has ever done my makeup. His hands start shaking. I really wish someone would come forward and take over the responsibility for my clothes, makeup and styling. I envy stars who have people to do everything from hair to dialogues. Nowadays I get films where I've to think about sets, co-stars."